Fa La La Half Marathon, Westminster, Colorado, December 5, 2015

Race Number 55
This race was cold and very muddy as we ran on trails most of the race. Nearly six miles was in mud that covered the back of my legs and consumed my new Asics Kayano's. I "jogged" it, as I have in my previous two races. It may be what I need to do from this point on.

I did re-write the Christmas carol "Deck the Halls" in honor of this race. So, you need to start humming the song as you read the new verses below.  There are three stanza's. I am anticipating huge royalities from the re-write!



Finishing  @ the  Denver Half

Title: "Jog the Race and Quit Complaining"
Jogged this race with hope and fervor,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
'Tis the 55th in the list to conquer,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Don me now my Asic running shoes
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Run in the cold 30 degree weather.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
-----------------------------------------------
See the Porta-potties in the distance,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
I made it there before an accident!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Follow me through the trails and mud,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
While I whine about the pain and suffering.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
------------------------------------------------
I see the finish line, it's approaching
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Hail the medal around my neck
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
I scream with joy as I finish
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Lead me to the burrito table
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
------------------------------------------------
Merry Christmas to all and to all good-bye!

The Kooky-Spooky Half Marathon, Golden/Arvada, Colorado, October 25, 2015

Number 54

If you read my blog entry for my last race a week ago, then you will concur that my middle initial in my name should be legally changed from an "E" to an "I."  I am a bit unclear as to why I felt compelled to run in the Kooky, Spooky Half Marathon in Golden, Colorado ...... But it may have been my attraction to the first word in the title of the race ..... :-)  Two half marathons in two weeks IS a tiny bit kooky!

This was another slow race for me.  I have resigned myself to that adjustment for now. I had my consultation on Friday regarding my colitis and it appears to be one of those maladies that will effect me for the balance of my life. So, I was careful today and mindful of where the porta potties were, albeit very few of them. That sure as "crappy." Thank goodness I only had to stop once.

The first 6.5 miles were a 2-3% downhill run! But it was an "out and back" course so the last 6.5 miles were 2-3% uphill. Actually, I think it felt like 5-8% at that point in the race. The 2-3% does not sound like much to the non-runner, but I will tell you, "it ain't fun!" It was a beautiful, crisp Colorado morning with the temperature hovering at 42-degrees at the start and finishing with a warm, yet comfortable 62-degrees.

Next race? Gosh, I don't know..... Right now, I am just very hungry and thirsty (I lost two pounds running this race) so I am going to treat myself to some oysters, pizza and beer at the local pub near the house. I will walk there, of course :-)

The Denver Rock and Roll Half Marathon, Denver, Colorado October 18, 2015

Number 53

Some years ago, I read an intriguing book entitled "The Water In Between," by Kevin Patterson. Mr. Patterson sailed a 37-foot ketch across the Pacific, by himself. Although that is a feat in itself, the unusual aspect of this adventure was that Patterson had NEVER SAILED BEFORE!!!

Having had my own youthful experiences on the Pacific Ocean as a boy and young man, I related well to his adventure. In high school and also after my active duty in the Army, I crewed on racing sloops and even sailed 2,700 miles in a 50-foot racing sloop from Hawaii  to Newport Beach, CA. This was a three week ordeal that included 10-12 foot breaking swells for a majority of the 21 days that we were on the water. It was NOT a pleasure cruise. In fact, it was a defining moment in my life, as I was never much of a risk-taker compared to most of my friends. I learned a lot about myself on that trip. 

Notwithstanding, as I read Patterson's book, I kept saying (out loud, BTW ), this guy is a TOTAL IDIOT! He could have died out there. What was he thinking? His perils are carefully outlined in his book and yet I kept trying to search for what I might learn from this "idiot." More on those lessons in a moment.

I share all the above because TODAY,  I was the IDIOT! I ran my 53rd half marathon in Denver with very little preparation (like Patterson), some slight sciatica pain going down my right leg, AND I had just returned from five active days in Houston visiting my girlfriend,  Holly, as she supports her family's business for the next year.  Add to that list my recent diagnosis of colitis in my upper and lower colon and you have the makings for a pretty good disaster documentary.

So why run this race? I guess you could say I was somewhat depressed after leaving my beloved Holly and felt the run might do me some good. It did. As I ran (actually I jogged the 13.1 miles) I reflected on what I learned from the idiot author so many years ago by retrieving some notes, that I had scribed, in the back of the book. I wrote the key words from those notes (they are in bold below) inside of my wrist so that I might refer to them at each mile marker. They were as follows:

First, Mr. Patterson had the Audacity to take a risk!  That does not always set well with many of us, especially me. Fear of failure is usually the reason. I exercised a bit of audacity today. 

Second,  Mr. Patterson was quite Determined. That word speaks loudly to me as I really do want to complete 75 half marathons before my spine,  my knees, and the colitis possibly take me out of the game. 

Third: Mr. Patterson was Self-Reliant (and maybe more than a little stupid). I guess I want to think I am still pretty young, even at 66, and I seem to have enough self-reliance to persevere.

But what impressed me the most was Patterson's choice to have a proper Attitude through his ordeal once he got out on the open sea. A good attitude helped me throughout the race and helped me overcome the apparent stupidity of my decision. We bring an attitude to everything we do.  I woke up this morning from a decent sleep, put my feet on the floor, and said, out loud, (with a 91% convincing voice), "OK, you IDIOT, you can do this!"

Number 53 is complete, albeit a very slow time. My spine is not happy and my colon forced me to the porta potty twice, during the race. I am probably none the smarter and a whole lot more sore than normal.  Yet, I am no longer depressed and I guess you could say I am a verifiable idiot. with a positive attitude. I can live with that.......at least for now!

Virtual Hollywood Half Marathon, Denver, Colorado, May 24, 2015

Number 52

I ran my 52nd half marathon this morning. It was an unusual one, by all means. The organizers of the Hollywood Half Marathon had some medals leftover after one of their races so they sent out an e-mail challenging previous participants to run a "virtual" half marathon within the next couple of months. If you did this and you documented it (i.e. Map Your Run) and then send the documentation to them, they will send you a shiny "Hollywood Star" medal (see post for race #48, below, to see a replica). Well, needless to say, I jumped on this because I am ALL ABOUT THE BLING!!!

So, today, I took off, all by my lonesome, to run 13.1 miles through the streets of Denver. It was quite fun acknowledging the fact that I was the only runner in this race and I WOULD come in; 1) FIRST, overall 2) FIRST in my age division and 3) FIRST as the top male finisher. I suppose if I claimed to have wore dresses once in a while (i.e. Bruce Jenner) I also, could have received, the honor of being the top female runner in my hypothetical race. Yet, I cannot claim that distinction (although in Junior High, I did try on a bra at a friend's house and strutted around for a few minutes..... BUT, that does not count because I was dared, and in Junior High, you NEVER turn down a dare).

My race started at Wash Park and what was really fascinating in my virtual race was the HUGE crowd that turned out to cheer me on. OMG, I was so humbled by the thousands of well-wishers, mostly of Lebanese decent, as well as a majority of the inhabitants of Iceland and seven monks from Outer Mongolia. Fox News covered every step of the contest (Megyn Kelly has a crush on me so the producers assigned her to my trek) and the tables were turned on the Kenyans as THEY served as volunteers at the aide stations, passing out water and gel packs. Let's face it though, IF I had allowed them to run in my virtual race, they would have lost anyway. It is best that they save themselves for another race where they can pretend to be human (I am referring to their unexplainable ability to run like an antelope).

I finished my race near a virtual beer garden (i.e. the refrigerator) where I was congratulated by Mr. Adolph Coors and Mr. Anheuser Busch.  The way my knees feel right now, I wish Mr. Jack Daniels had shown up.

The virtual applause and congratulatory nods have been overwhelming. Frankly, the autograph party was a bit much.  Nonetheless, I do my best to serve my fan base. Just say'in ........

Looking forward to number 53!

Three Rivers Half Marathon, Aurora, Colorado, April 4, 2015

Number 51

He is Risen! Oops, I am not talking about our risen Savior who we will celebrate on Sunday. I am talking about me and the fact that after nearly three years of virtual sloth, I returned to the “racing” circuit today to limp (seriously) through my 51^st half marathon. I took this old body out on the course accompanied by 11 extra pounds and a bad calf muscle and did my worse (vs. my best).

My training for this event was going OK, until March 28^th, when I pulled a calf muscle in the middle of an eight mile training run. I was so lame, that I had to call my girlfriend to come pick me up. Yet, I thought this old body would repair itself soon enough to run gallantly within a week. Pride was on my side as I fell back on a rich history of having logged 50 half marathons. But my pride (i.e. an inflated sense of my accomplishment) caused me to step out on a course that I had no business being on. Enter stupidity.

Within just two miles of the start of the race, my right calf began to burn. Granted, I have made some mistakes in my life, mostly in my overestimation of my ability. But this time, my biggest mistake was underestimating my IGNORANCE (i.e. stupidity). I was going to have to complete the next 11 miles limping like Festus in the old Gunsmoke series. I had a fantastic dream that I would be healed and prepared for the race but, at mile marker two, I had to settle for REALITY! My pride certainly helped me imagine the runner I wanted to be today, but reality forced me to ACCEPT the runner I was at this point in time.

There is a proverb that states “Pride comes before the fall.” Although number 51 is in the books, it is apparent to me I may be paying for my inflated attitude for some time.  Number 52 may be further away than I realize.

Blessings from your often ignorant (and now healing) friend and colleague in life.