Race #100
Wow, it feels very surreal to be writing this blog post for race #100. When I first decided to finish Mikie’s goal of 100 half marathons by his 75th birthday, it seemed like a very daunting and far away marker, but one that I just knew I needed to do for Mikie (and honestly, for me as well). Thirteen half marathons in one year (which ended up being 14 months) was quite the task…I knew I had to do it, no matter how hard it was. But looking back now, the goal and the training that I needed to reach his goal truly helped me stay afloat during the hardest days, weeks and months of my life. My training runs helped keep me active when it would have been so much easier to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head and try to pretend that my life hadn’t been turned upside down. The races helped me to still have goals and something to work towards, which I needed to keep me tethered to reality. And above all, it kept me very connected to my sweet husband, even though he wasn’t physically here with me.
I had a few obstacles along the way, including a strained IT band in my knee and bruised ribs, which also kept me from reaching the goal by Mikie’s 75th birthday, but I was able to persevere and reach this goal, just about 2 months shy of the date I had hoped for. Mike had done the same thing throughout his half marathon journey when obstacles got in his way. Now, I won’t say that it was easy for him when he had to adapt his goals; he was a Type A perfectionist and he really struggled when he didn’t live up to his own expectations, even when everyone around him understood. But he always kept going and overcame, so I had to do the same! One of the reasons that I think Mikie and I worked so well together was because our personalities were very similar…meaning that I am also a Type A perfectionist. So it took a hot minute for me to reconcile my heart and my head. My head knew that I had to suck it up and deal with the hand I had been dealt, but my heart was crushed to not live up to the goal that I had set, especially given how important this goal was to me and to Mikie’s memory. So I just had to get my head and my heart aligned and keep on running!
And now, here I was, ready to reach this milestone! I came to California with my sister and we got to spend a few days seeing the sights (Monterey, Carmel, Big Sur) and we had so much fun! I was definitely ready for race day and it was a beautiful Northern California day. A bit chilly at the start, but perfect running weather, sun shining and temperatures in the 50’s. But the best part was that most of this race was run along the water in Monterey and Pacific Grove. I was running race #100 along Mikie’s beloved Pacific Ocean. It couldn’t have been better! I felt such peace running this race and Mikie was with me the entire way. ♥️ My time was 2:33:54, not my fastest time, but a very good time for me!
Along with the joy of finishing the race and reaching my goal, I have to admit that I also had some feelings of sadness mixed in. Why, you ask? Because reaching this goal meant that I didn’t have that goal to work towards anymore. As most people who knew Mikie will know, he was incredibly goal-oriented and I am the same way. So what does that mean? I guess I have to set a new goal! Yes, I will most definitely keep running half marathons (maybe not one a month anymore) because running has truly become a passion and also my therapy. I will continue to run for Mikie (and myself) and I will continue his running legacy. I have mixed feelings about my goals moving forward. After this race, I decided to count the number of half marathons that I had completed and I was amazed to find out that this race was #25 for me! I couldn’t believe that I had actually run 25 half marathons (starting in 2009). So, do I keep counting these for Mikie (#101, etc.), for myself (#26, etc.) or both? I think maybe I will count both…I will keep counting for Mikie to keep his running spirit alive but now I will start counting for myself because in this new season of my life, that is what I need to do…I am now a reluctant widow, fiercely proud to have been Mike’s wife, but I don’t want to put that in a past tense. I am now on my own, but I know that Mikie is still with me every step of the way. I am now a devoted runner, each step inspired by a wonderful man.
I will also continue to write these blogs because as hard as they are to write sometimes (mainly just because I feel inadequate compared to Mikie’s writing), I do enjoy writing them. I hope you will continue to enjoy reading them.
My next race is the San Antonio Rock n Roll Half Marathon on December 8th, 2024 (I know, I thought I would stop doing one a month, but I signed up for this a year ago because you can get a discounted rate and like Mike, I never want to let a registration fee go down the drain)!
No comments:
Post a Comment