Disneyland Half Marathon, September 3, 2007

Race Number Ten (90 to go)

I have always wanted to know what it felt like to push your body to near heat exhaustion in 95 degree heat as you put one foot in front of the other while cruising through your favorite childhood theme park (is that a run-on sentence?). The Disneyland Half Marathon left the start line at six in the morning and it was 82 degrees (and the sun had not appeared yet!). By the end of the race, it was 95 degrees and the medical staff got REAL busy. I am sure many people were glad that Kaiser Permanente sponsored the event. I am pretty sure they waived the co-pay.

The race director warned us that we were at a “Red” flag warning BEFORE the race even started. A Yellow flag means you stand the chance of getting heat stroke, a “Red” suggests you had better slow your pace so you don’t die and a “Black” flag means you are going to die if you run at all. During a Black flag, the race becomes a “Fun” run that they do not time. My question for the medical staff was, “If I just spent $230 on an airline ticket, $130 on a rental car and $100 to get into this stink’in event, will they use the Black flag to drape my withered body as they transport me to the morgue, IF I CHOOSE to run as if Mickey was chasing me to grab my but-tocks (Forrest emphasis, SF fears, again and another run-on sentence)? The doctor did not seem to be in, cuz he just looked at me with NO expression at all and turned his attention to more important matters.

Other than the flesh melting heat, it was a fun race. I ran through California Adventure (I have never been to that park) and then into Disneyland, which is always special because I grew up going to the park at least one to 4,000 times a year to have fun, pick up girls and run from the security guards. I ran down Main street (where we use to buy wine soaked cigars and walk around acting like big shots--I am not kidding—we were stupid punks) through Tomorrowland, past the submarines (gosh I loved those when I was a kid), and past the Matterhorn Mountain Bobsleds (where I urinated in my pants because the waist belt was too tight-Hey, I was eight years old and scared to death!). I had the unfortunate experience of running by the “It’s a Small World.” Are you aware of any sane person who thinks this is a cute ride? Most classroom teachers would like to ring the neck of these noisy, off pitch puppets and dolls. I also ran past Dumbo (no, Shelly, nor Janet, my administrative assistants competed in this race-I meant the ride, of course!) and then I blew past Tweedledee and Tweedledum at the Alice in Wonderland ride (Mona and Martha, both teachers at JA did not make the trip either, but their likenesses were shown proudly on the Alice marquee).

We exited Disneyland to experience the “special and altogether beautiful” light industrial areas of Anaheim and then we ran around the Honda Center where the Mighty Geese (Ducks) play hockey. Angel Stadium was next and we actually got to run on the warning track from the corner of right field around home plate and then out the left field gate. As runners crossed home plate, they flashed our dripping, struggling images on the Jumbo Tron. Considering I was wet from head to toe after dumping water on my body at EVERY water station, I did not look too bad, except for the blood I was coughing up on my yellow tank top (just kidding!). The finish had lots of well wishers, noise and music!

The medallion we received was really cool, like last year’s. BIG, SHINEY and it made the trip and run worth it. Jumping in the pool at Dave and Sandi’ house in Newport Beach was “priceless.”

BTW: My second cousin ran the race too. Michelle did very well, considering the conditions and it was her first half marathon. Amy Bloom, the parent I ran with last year, ran again, but I never saw her. In fact, her husband and kids did not see her, her mother did not see her, sooooooo, I was kind of wondering where she ran. Hummmm, it might be a case for Detective Donald Duck!

My time? A heat stroked aided 2:13:16. 56th out of 239, 55-59 year olds (top 23%). 1,358th out of 3,984 males (top 34%) and 2,197 out of 9,768 finishers (top 22%)

The prayer list this race: At each mile marker I prayed for each of my classroom teachers and their educational assistant. That was 26 very special folks of the 63 on our staff. Future races will include the rest of our incredible staff!

Next race: Most likely, the Boulder Backroads Half Marathon. Hitch’um up cowboy!!!