"Slacker" Half Marathon, Loveland Ski Area (10,630ft) to Georgetown, Colorado (8,400ft) June 24, 2011

Race Number 41

Mikie’s Top Ten Reasons for Running the Slacker Half Marathon:
Number 10) To show off my abs of steel hoping everyone could imagine what is under the medium layer of stubborn fat that shields the spectacle.

Number 9) I heard this race guaranteed a wonderful running experience for people of Italian, Mexican and English decent, which really sucks, as I am Lebanese.

Number 8) I had dreamt that something deep inside of me would re-awaken during this race. I did not suspect that the awakening would occur sitting in the port-a-potty.

Number 7) After weeks of preparation and anticipation, my plan to run this race AND escape from the psychiatric hospital attendees worked better than I thought, even with the straight jacket negating my arm movements and causing me to look like a galloping sausage.

Number 6) I was hoping that the bizarre chain of existential mishaps that I experienced this week, which resulted in my sixth viewing of the inspirational running movie, "Chariots of Fire," would cause me to be recruited for the Olympic team.

Number 5) While hard and fast rules of running in these half marathons are oftentimes overly simplistic, I could not argue with the logic that whoever smelt it, most likely also dealt it.

Number 4) Even though the technical details are still being worked out, Hollywood executives have promised that the filming of my entire hilarious, heartwarming and inspiring race would soon be released as a new documentary on forms of lunacy and will be sponsored by Adult Depends.

Number 3) I was hopeful that I would experience my normal Pavlovian response in this race when the mere mention of “gel packets” caused me to instantly salivate, grunt and claw for the tangerine flavor packs at the water stations.

Number 2) Other runners, in my age bracket, would not discover the secret ingredient to my homemade energy bars (distributed, by me, prior to the race), and, would in turn, lack the necessary motor functions to speak and run, thus allowing me to place high in my age bracket.

And the NUMBER ONE REASON I RAN IN THE SLACKER HALF MARATHON WAS...................

I did not want to spend the rest of my life wondering “what if?” I ran this race in a pink tutu and orange tights. No pictures were taken as this was a very private and cathartic moment for me.

Running at high altitude, going downhill or not, is really difficult.  I felt like I was gasping for every breath.  Yet, I finished. The legs are sore and the back held up.  The tutu kept my legs from getting burnt. ;-)


Prayer List: Miles 1-3: Justin and Reilly Watanabe will be married on July 1st by yours truly. Justin spent all his years at JA, works there, and is studying to enter law enforcement. Miles 4-6: Robin Munier as she heals after having her left knee replaced. Miles 7-9: Dina Walton, League Board Member, recovering from cancer surgery and treatments. Miles 10-13: Five employees at JA, leaving to participate in new educational endeavors.