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Los Angeles River Half Marathon, December 4, 2016 , Los Angeles, California

Race Number 58
I was born, raised and educated in Southern California. In Fourth grade, at Palm Desert Elementary School, we studied California history and geography. When anyone asks me what part of California a particular city or event may be taking place, I can answer with the confidence of Junipero Serra (for you non-Cali deviants, Father Serra was the founder of the nine famous missions of California, which were the first settlements of the Europeans in the California region).

Yet, with all this extensive and deep knowledge of California geography, I DID NOT KNOW THAT THERE WAS A LOS ANGELES RIVER! Seriously!
 
So, you can imagine the deep depression I sunk into when I realized that I was NOT the perfect and all-knowing California historian that I had lead myself to believe. This was a significant blow to my self-esteem and I wondered if I would ever be allowed back into the Country of California (let's face it folks, California should be its own country) and whether TSA would block me from getting on the plane to attend my dear Uncle Joe's 90th birthday celebration as well as my chance to run in the Los Angeles River Half Marathon! Notwithstnding, I made it and did not have to prove my citizenship to my former place of allegiance.
 
Uncle Joe's party was wonderful. He is an amazing man and I love him and my Aunt Louise dearly. With both my Mom and Dad gone, they are my Mom and Dad in so many ways. Actually, I think both of them will probably out live me!
 
The race was a low-budget race, yet flat, so that made it worth it. The LA River flows through a concrete channel on a fixed course, which was built after a series of devastating floods in the early 20th century. It is about 48 miles long and comes down from the  Simi Hills & the Santa Susana Mountains and empties into the Pacific at Long Beach. I ran (i.e. jogged again) 13 miles of it on a cool but pleasant Sunday morning. Like my previous seven races, I did not train as hard as I use to, yet, nothing started, nothing experienced, nothing finished.  Starting lines are one of the most important stations in life.  We need not avoid them.  We need to seek them out.  Lou Holtz once said, “Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation is what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it.” I have no ability, but I do have motivation and a snarky attitude, so this was a fun race to run, despite my waning ability.
 
Throughout the race, I searched, with vinous determination, for a stray whiff of oxygen for my beleaguered lungs.  Running at sea-level is sweetness to a Coloradan, but running 13.1 miles still requires deep breathing and averting the rapid decomposing of your body. At the end of the race, my feet were TROBBING!
 
Miles 9-13 were very difficult so I shamed myself out of walking some of it with a hail of trash talk…… “Run you ‘pretty flower, pasty faced, wimpy excuse for a man.’  You ‘light roast coffee with two sugars and loads of cream.’ Pick it up, you CREAM PUFF! I succeeded and I ran theatrically over the finish line with a huge, fake smile on my sweaty, agonized face!
 
At the end of the race, I could hardly move. By the early afternoon, I could use the shower and feed myself.  My muscles were groaning from the abuse, but I was thankful that I still had the strength to shuffle down the concourse at the Bob Hope/Burbank airport to head home late Sunday afternoon. I am sure my colleagues at Platte River Academy will have little empathy for me on Monday morning. Such is the life of a weekend warrior!
 
Number 58 is in the books (and this blog) and Happy 90th Uncle Joe!
 
PS: My sweetheart, Holly, was running concurrently with me as she competed in the Rock-n-Roll Half in her hometown of San Antonio. She ran in pouring rain the entire race. I ran in clear skies and 45-55 degrees. I guess God likes Californians more...:-)
 

 

Carbon Valley Half Marathon for Autism, May 21, 2016, Firestone, Colorado

Race Number 57

This was a nice course although within one hour of the start the temperature had risen by 15 degrees to a very warm 75.  The course had no downhill portion and climbed for 13 miles at a 1-3% grade.  I jogged it and enjoyed it.

At the end of the race, I was interviewed by Donald Trump. SeriouslyJ. Here is the exchange (The Donald’s answers are from many of his worst yet somewhat funny quotes).

Trump: So, Mikie, how did you do today?
Mikie: I ran slow and steady, but I finished.
Trump: Mikie, you don’t sound very passionate. Without passion, you don’t have energy. You have nothing. Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.

Mikie: But I do have passion, Mr. Trump. That was my 57th half marathon in nine years.

Trump: Mikie, you can be great again!  In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish. By the way, do you know I am really rich?

Mikie: So even though I have slowed quite a bit due to two back surgeries and colitis, you don’t seem to appreciate what I have done. BTW: I know you are rich. Could you share some of your money with my school?

Trump: I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. You’re a loser Mikie. I’d fire you if you were on the Apprentice.

Mikie: Do you really think I care about that Mr. Trump.

Trump: It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.

Mikie: Agreed. I think I have done that with this challenge to myself. But in this race, I hit the “Wall” on mile nine and really struggled in the heat.

Trump: We have to have a wall. We have to have a border. And in that wall were going to have a big fat door where people can come in the country, but they have to come in legally. I will build a great wall-and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.

Mikie: Mr. Trump, I am talking about the “runner’s wall” which describes when you have run out of energy to run the race. By the way, there is no door in the “runner’s wall."  You just have to crash through it. Also, do you realize how condescending you can be?

Trump: I think I am a nice person. People that know me, like me. All the women on “The Apprentice” flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected. Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.

Mikie: Would you be willing to buy me a new pair of Asics Kayano’s? My feet hurt quite a bit during this race.

Trump: I’m really rich, but I think you’d have riots if I bought you new shoes. Mikie, YOU’RE FIRED!

I am pretty sure I will not be offered the Vice President position or any position in his cabinet if he should become #45.

Three Creeks Half Marathon, Cherry Creek, Colorado, April 3, 2016

Race Number 56

I got up at 4am this morning to prepare to run my 56th half marathon at Cherry Creek State Park. Frankly, I pondered for a few moments as to why I continue to run these races especially with the maladies my body now struggles with. But because I had already spent the money to register, I sure as shoot'in was not going to throw $70 down the drain.

About six miles into the race, I realized why I was suppose to run this race. A dear friend of mine, Dave Anderson was running the race and came up along side of me as I struggled up a long hill. Dave and his lovely wife sent all three of their children to Jefferson Academy. Dave and Lisa's commitment and love for their children was very special. Dave has said some very nice things about their experiences at JA and we were very honored to serve them through the good times and a few rougher patches. Yet, what always impressed me about the Anderson's was their unwavering faith in the support system that surrounded them and their willingness to bless others. I would have loved to have had a whole school of Anderson's!

Dave walked with me for a few minutes as I struggled through my run. I was blessed to have him come along side of me. Too often we underestimate the power of a smile (and Dave has a big one), a kind word (I told him I did not want to hold him up and his response was "I would not trade this for anything") or the smallest act of caring (he asked how I was doing) all of which have the power to build (and this case, continue) a life long relationship. I treasure that relationship with the Anderson's as I do with so many of the families I have had the pleasure to serve.

My race ended with a slow time again, but I did not care. I drove home sore, but deeply blessed.