Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half, Georgetown, Colorado, August 12, 2017

Race Number 60

Race number 43 was the last time I ran the GTIS Half (a hard downhill run from 8,530 ft to 7,640 ft), which was on August 13, 2011. You can read my desperate account of that day by flipping back a page or two. I made reference, in that post, to a pesky speed-walker who passed me as if I was running in slow motion.

Well, sometimes history repeats itself and that was the case today. Except I have a good excuse for why the speed walkers (yes, that is plural) passed me today as the ONE did 17 races ago.

I have had SIGNIFICANT foot pain, in the metatarsal area of both feet. One of my parents, at PRA, is a Physician's Assistant and she heard I was really worried about my race due to the foot pain that literally, forces me into a walk and not a run. Mrs. B was kind enough to inject my right foot with medications that she was hoping would relieve my pain and misery. It worked for a while yet the punishment of the run beat the drugs into submission by mile 9.5. I was reduced to hobbling along at a speed that many of my kindergartners could keep up with. So, the speed walkers were triumphant again today!

Despite the pain, I did keep up my prayer vigil for my sweetheart, Holly, at each mile marker. She is doing very well and just found out her CT scan was clear from any cancer! You cannot imagine the joy that is in my heart for this news!

I finished my 60th half marathon with one of my PRA teachers (Mrs. Gamble) and a PRA pare nt (Mrs. Walker) running the race a lot faster than Festus Munier. Yet, we connected at the end and shared our stories on our return bus ride to Georgetown.

I will be scheduling a visit with my doctor soon. I am NOT stopping at 60…… PERIOD!!!
 

Blaze the Oceanfront Half Marathon, Long Beach, California, July 23, 2017

Race Number 59

Today I ran half marathon number 59 with a disquieted heart. I tried to stay focused, but it was difficult.

I have spent the last six weeks in Houston with my sweetheart, Holly. I flew down in the middle of June to be with her as she faced a major surgery and the recuperation process. I was blessed that I could be with her, care for her and love on her during this time. When I was not tending to her, I spent quite a bit of time getting Holly moved from her one bedroom apartment to a larger townhome. She is so excited to be in a place where she can have a craft room and plenty of space for her shoes, purses and clothes. I highlight those three categories because it took MANY hours to move those items ..... alone (I thought the kitchen would be hard, but I was wrong). I own about six pairs of shoes. Two pairs are running shoes. Holly has 125+ pairs of shoes. I will curtail my commentary at this point in fear of retribution!

Holly's surgery was successful but they did find some cancer. They are confident they got it all but there will be some follow up over the months and years ahead. Holly is one tough lady who I admire and love very,  very much. She (We) are very positive about the future prognosis.

So ...... I ran an "OK" race along the boardwalk/running path of Long Beach, California today. Yet, my attention was drawn to getting to each mile marker and sending up a special prayer, at each of those markers, for Holly, as I recognized how much I adore and cherish my beautiful sweetie!

Now on to some surfing here in CA, (for a week), and seeking the perfect wave!

Los Angeles River Half Marathon, December 4, 2016 , Los Angeles, California

Race Number 58

I was born, raised and educated in Southern California. In Fourth grade, at Palm Desert Elementary School, we studied California history and geography. When anyone asks me what part of California a particular city or event may be taking place, I can answer with the confidence of Junipero Serra (for you non-Cali deviants, Father Serra was the founder of the nine famous missions of California, which were the first settlements of the Europeans in the California region).

Yet, with all this extensive and deep knowledge of California geography, I DID NOT KNOW THAT THERE WAS A LOS ANGELES RIVER! Seriously!

 

So, you can imagine the deep depression I sunk into when I realized that I was NOT the perfect and all-knowing California historian that I had lead myself to believe. This was a significant blow to my self-esteem and I wondered if I would ever be allowed back into the Country of California (let's face it folks, California should be its own country) and whether TSA would block me from getting on the plane to attend my dear Uncle Joe's 90th birthday celebration as well as my chance to run in the Los Angeles River Half Marathon! Notwithstnding, I made it and did not have to prove my citizenship to my former place of allegiance.

 

Uncle Joe's party was wonderful. He is an amazing man and I love him and my Aunt Louise dearly. With both my Mom and Dad gone, they are my Mom and Dad in so many ways. Actually, I think both of them will probably out live me!

 

The race was a low-budget race, yet flat, so that made it worth it. The LA River flows through a concrete channel on a fixed course, which was built after a series of devastating floods in the early 20th century. It is about 48 miles long and comes down from the  Simi Hills & the Santa Susana Mountains and empties into the Pacific at Long Beach. I ran (i.e. jogged again) 13 miles of it on a cool but pleasant Sunday morning. Like my previous seven races, I did not train as hard as I use to, yet, nothing started, nothing experienced, nothing finished.  Starting lines are one of the most important stations in life.  We need not avoid them.  We need to seek them out.  Lou Holtz once said, “Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation is what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it.” I have no ability, but I do have motivation and a snarky attitude, so this was a fun race to run, despite my waning ability.

 

Throughout the race, I searched, with vinous determination, for a stray whiff of oxygen for my beleaguered lungs.  Running at sea-level is sweetness to a Coloradan, but running 13.1 miles still requires deep breathing and averting the rapid decomposing of your body. At the end of the race, my feet were TROBBING!

 

Miles 9-13 were very difficult so I shamed myself out of walking some of it with a hail of trash talk…… “Run you ‘pretty flower, pasty faced, wimpy excuse for a man.’  You ‘light roast coffee with two sugars and loads of cream.’ Pick it up, you CREAM PUFF! I succeeded and I ran theatrically over the finish line with a huge, fake smile on my sweaty, agonized face!

 

At the end of the race, I could hardly move. By the early afternoon, I could use the shower and feed myself.  My muscles were groaning from the abuse, but I was thankful that I still had the strength to shuffle down the concourse at the Bob Hope/Burbank airport to head home late Sunday afternoon. I am sure my colleagues at Platte River Academy will have little empathy for me on Monday morning. Such is the life of a weekend warrior!

 

Number 58 is in the books (and this blog) and Happy 90th Uncle Joe!

 

PS: My sweetheart, Holly, was running concurrently with me as she competed in the Rock-n-Roll Half in her hometown of San Antonio. She ran in pouring rain the entire race. I ran in clear skies and 45-55 degrees. I guess God likes Californians more...:-)

 

 

Carbon Valley Half Marathon for Autism, May 21, 2016, Firestone, Colorado

Race Number 57

This was a nice course although within one hour of the start the temperature had risen by 15 degrees to a very warm 75.  The course had no downhill portion and climbed for 13 miles at a 1-3% grade.  I jogged it and enjoyed it.

At the end of the race, I was interviewed by Donald Trump. SeriouslyJ. Here is the exchange (The Donald’s answers are from many of his worst yet somewhat funny quotes).

Trump: So, Mikie, how did you do today?

Mikie: I ran slow and steady, but I finished.

Trump: Mikie, you don’t sound very passionate. Without passion, you don’t have energy. You have nothing. Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.

Mikie: But I do have passion, Mr. Trump. That was my 57^th half marathon in nine years.

Trump: Mikie, you can be great again!  In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish. By the way, do you know I am really rich?

Mikie: So even though I have slowed quite a bit due to two back surgeries and colitis, you don’t seem to appreciate what I have done. BTW: I know you are rich. Could you share some of your money with my school?

Trump: I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. You’re a loser Mikie. I’d fire you if you were on the Apprentice.

Mikie: Do you really think I care about that Mr. Trump.

Trump: It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.

Mikie: Agreed. I think I have done that with this challenge to myself. But in this race, I hit the “Wall” on mile nine and really struggled in the heat.

Trump: We have to have a wall. We have to have a border. And in that wall were going to have a big fat door where people can come in the country, but they have to come in legally. I will build a great wall-and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.

Mikie: Mr. Trump, I am talking about the “runner’s wall” which describes when you have run out of energy to run the race. By the way, there is no door in the “runner’s wall."  You just have to crash through it. Also, do you realize how condescending you can be?

Trump: I think I am a nice person. People that know me, like me. All the women on “The Apprentice” flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected. Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.

Mikie: Would you be willing to buy me a new pair of Asics Kayano’s? My feet hurt quite a bit during this race.

Trump: I’m really rich, but I think you’d have riots if I bought you new shoes. Mikie, YOU’RE FIRED!

I am pretty sure I will not be offered the Vice President position or any position in his cabinet if he should become #45.

Three Creeks Half Marathon, Cherry Creek, Colorado, April 3, 2016

Race Number 56

I got up at 4am this morning to prepare to run my 56th half marathon at Cherry Creek State Park. Frankly, I pondered for a few moments as to why I continue to run these races especially with the maladies my body now struggles with. But because I had already spent the money to register, I sure as shoot'in was not going to throw $70 down the drain.

About six miles into the race, I realized why I was suppose to run this race. A dear friend of mine, Dave Anderson was running the race and came up along side of me as I struggled up a long hill. Dave and his lovely wife sent all three of their children to Jefferson Academy. Dave and Lisa's commitment and love for their children was very special. Dave has said some very nice things about their experiences at JA and we were very honored to serve them through the good times and a few rougher patches. Yet, what always impressed me about the Anderson's was their unwavering faith in the support system that surrounded them and their willingness to bless others. I would have loved to have had a whole school of Anderson's!

Dave walked with me for a few minutes as I struggled through my run. I was blessed to have him come along side of me. Too often we underestimate the power of a smile (and Dave has a big one), a kind word (I told him I did not want to hold him up and his response was "I would not trade this for anything") or the smallest act of caring (he asked how I was doing) all of which have the power to build (and this case, continue) a life long relationship. I treasure that relationship with the Anderson's as I do with so many of the families I have had the pleasure to serve.

My race ended with a slow time again, but I did not care. I drove home sore, but deeply blessed.

Fa La La Half Marathon, Westminster, Colorado, December 5, 2015

Race Number 55
This race was cold and very muddy as we ran on trails most of the race. Nearly six miles was in mud that covered the back of my legs and consumed my new Asics Kayano's. I "jogged" it, as I have in my previous two races. It may be what I need to do from this point on.

I did re-write the Christmas carol "Deck the Halls" in honor of this race. So, you need to start humming the song as you read the new verses below.  There are three stanza's. I am anticipating huge royalities from the re-write!



Finishing  @ the  Denver Half

Title: "Jog the Race and Quit Complaining"
Jogged this race with hope and fervor,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
'Tis the 55th in the list to conquer,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Don me now my Asic running shoes
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Run in the cold 30 degree weather.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
-----------------------------------------------
See the Porta-potties in the distance,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
I made it there before an accident!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Follow me through the trails and mud,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
While I whine about the pain and suffering.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
------------------------------------------------
I see the finish line, it's approaching
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Hail the medal around my neck
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
I scream with joy as I finish
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
Lead me to the burrito table
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha
------------------------------------------------
Merry Christmas to all and to all good-bye!

The Kooky-Spooky Half Marathon, Golden/Arvada, Colorado, October 25, 2015

Number 54

If you read my blog entry for my last race a week ago, then you will concur that my middle initial in my name should be legally changed from an "E" to an "I."  I am a bit unclear as to why I felt compelled to run in the Kooky, Spooky Half Marathon in Golden, Colorado ...... But it may have been my attraction to the first word in the title of the race ..... :-)  Two half marathons in two weeks IS a tiny bit kooky!

This was another slow race for me.  I have resigned myself to that adjustment for now. I had my consultation on Friday regarding my colitis and it appears to be one of those maladies that will effect me for the balance of my life. So, I was careful today and mindful of where the porta potties were, albeit very few of them. That sure as "crappy." Thank goodness I only had to stop once.

The first 6.5 miles were a 2-3% downhill run! But it was an "out and back" course so the last 6.5 miles were 2-3% uphill. Actually, I think it felt like 5-8% at that point in the race. The 2-3% does not sound like much to the non-runner, but I will tell you, "it ain't fun!" It was a beautiful, crisp Colorado morning with the temperature hovering at 42-degrees at the start and finishing with a warm, yet comfortable 62-degrees.

Next race? Gosh, I don't know..... Right now, I am just very hungry and thirsty (I lost two pounds running this race) so I am going to treat myself to some oysters, pizza and beer at the local pub near the house. I will walk there, of course :-)

The Denver Rock and Roll Half Marathon, Denver, Colorado October 18, 2015

Number 53

Some years ago, I read an intriguing book entitled "The Water In Between," by Kevin Patterson. Mr. Patterson sailed a 37-foot ketch across the Pacific, by himself. Although that is a feat in itself, the unusual aspect of this adventure was that Patterson had NEVER SAILED BEFORE!!!

Having had my own youthful experiences on the Pacific Ocean as a boy and young man, I related well to his adventure. In high school and also after my active duty in the Army, I crewed on racing sloops and even sailed 2,700 miles in a 50-foot racing sloop from Hawaii  to Newport Beach, CA. This was a three week ordeal that included 10-12 foot breaking swells for a majority of the 21 days that we were on the water. It was NOT a pleasure cruise. In fact, it was a defining moment in my life, as I was never much of a risk-taker compared to most of my friends. I learned a lot about myself on that trip. 

Notwithstanding, as I read Patterson's book, I kept saying (out loud, BTW ), this guy is a TOTAL IDIOT! He could have died out there. What was he thinking? His perils are carefully outlined in his book and yet I kept trying to search for what I might learn from this "idiot." More on those lessons in a moment.

I share all the above because TODAY,  I was the IDIOT! I ran my 53rd half marathon in Denver with very little preparation (like Patterson), some slight sciatica pain going down my right leg, AND I had just returned from five active days in Houston visiting my girlfriend,  Holly, as she supports her family's business for the next year.  Add to that list my recent diagnosis of colitis in my upper and lower colon and you have the makings for a pretty good disaster documentary.

So why run this race? I guess you could say I was somewhat depressed after leaving my beloved Holly and felt the run might do me some good. It did. As I ran (actually I jogged the 13.1 miles) I reflected on what I learned from the idiot author so many years ago by retrieving some notes, that I had scribed, in the back of the book. I wrote the key words from those notes (they are in bold below) inside of my wrist so that I might refer to them at each mile marker. They were as follows:

First, Mr. Patterson had the Audacity to take a risk!  That does not always set well with many of us, especially me. Fear of failure is usually the reason. I exercised a bit of audacity today. 

Second,  Mr. Patterson was quite Determined. That word speaks loudly to me as I really do want to complete 75 half marathons before my spine,  my knees, and the colitis possibly take me out of the game. 

Third: Mr. Patterson was Self-Reliant (and maybe more than a little stupid). I guess I want to think I am still pretty young, even at 66, and I seem to have enough self-reliance to persevere.

But what impressed me the most was Patterson's choice to have a proper Attitude through his ordeal once he got out on the open sea. A good attitude helped me throughout the race and helped me overcome the apparent stupidity of my decision. We bring an attitude to everything we do.  I woke up this morning from a decent sleep, put my feet on the floor, and said, out loud, (with a 91% convincing voice), "OK, you IDIOT, you can do this!"

Number 53 is complete, albeit a very slow time. My spine is not happy and my colon forced me to the porta potty twice, during the race. I am probably none the smarter and a whole lot more sore than normal.  Yet, I am no longer depressed and I guess you could say I am a verifiable idiot. with a positive attitude. I can live with that.......at least for now!

Virtual Hollywood Half Marathon, Denver, Colorado, May 24, 2015

Number 52

I ran my 52nd half marathon this morning. It was an unusual one, by all means. The organizers of the Hollywood Half Marathon had some medals leftover after one of their races so they sent out an e-mail challenging previous participants to run a "virtual" half marathon within the next couple of months. If you did this and you documented it (i.e. Map Your Run) and then send the documentation to them, they will send you a shiny "Hollywood Star" medal (see post for race #48, below, to see a replica). Well, needless to say, I jumped on this because I am ALL ABOUT THE BLING!!!

So, today, I took off, all by my lonesome, to run 13.1 miles through the streets of Denver. It was quite fun acknowledging the fact that I was the only runner in this race and I WOULD come in; 1) FIRST, overall 2) FIRST in my age division and 3) FIRST as the top male finisher. I suppose if I claimed to have wore dresses once in a while (i.e. Bruce Jenner) I also, could have received, the honor of being the top female runner in my hypothetical race. Yet, I cannot claim that distinction (although in Junior High, I did try on a bra at a friend's house and strutted around for a few minutes..... BUT, that does not count because I was dared, and in Junior High, you NEVER turn down a dare).

My race started at Wash Park and what was really fascinating in my virtual race was the HUGE crowd that turned out to cheer me on. OMG, I was so humbled by the thousands of well-wishers, mostly of Lebanese decent, as well as a majority of the inhabitants of Iceland and seven monks from Outer Mongolia. Fox News covered every step of the contest (Megyn Kelly has a crush on me so the producers assigned her to my trek) and the tables were turned on the Kenyans as THEY served as volunteers at the aide stations, passing out water and gel packs. Let's face it though, IF I had allowed them to run in my virtual race, they would have lost anyway. It is best that they save themselves for another race where they can pretend to be human (I am referring to their unexplainable ability to run like an antelope).

I finished my race near a virtual beer garden (i.e. the refrigerator) where I was congratulated by Mr. Adolph Coors and Mr. Anheuser Busch.  The way my knees feel right now, I wish Mr. Jack Daniels had shown up.

The virtual applause and congratulatory nods have been overwhelming. Frankly, the autograph party was a bit much.  Nonetheless, I do my best to serve my fan base. Just say'in ........

Looking forward to number 53!

Three Rivers Half Marathon, Aurora, Colorado, April 4, 2015

Number 51

He is Risen! Oops, I am not talking about our risen Savior who we will celebrate on Sunday. I am talking about me and the fact that after nearly three years of virtual sloth, I returned to the “racing” circuit today to limp (seriously) through my 51^st half marathon. I took this old body out on the course accompanied by 11 extra pounds and a bad calf muscle and did my worse (vs. my best).

My training for this event was going OK, until March 28^th, when I pulled a calf muscle in the middle of an eight mile training run. I was so lame, that I had to call my girlfriend to come pick me up. Yet, I thought this old body would repair itself soon enough to run gallantly within a week. Pride was on my side as I fell back on a rich history of having logged 50 half marathons. But my pride (i.e. an inflated sense of my accomplishment) caused me to step out on a course that I had no business being on. Enter stupidity.

Within just two miles of the start of the race, my right calf began to burn. Granted, I have made some mistakes in my life, mostly in my overestimation of my ability. But this time, my biggest mistake was underestimating my IGNORANCE (i.e. stupidity). I was going to have to complete the next 11 miles limping like Festus in the old Gunsmoke series. I had a fantastic dream that I would be healed and prepared for the race but, at mile marker two, I had to settle for REALITY! My pride certainly helped me imagine the runner I wanted to be today, but reality forced me to ACCEPT the runner I was at this point in time.

There is a proverb that states “Pride comes before the fall.” Although number 51 is in the books, it is apparent to me I may be paying for my inflated attitude for some time.  Number 52 may be further away than I realize.

Blessings from your often ignorant (and now healing) friend and colleague in life.