Race #89
It is November 2nd and that means it has been 5 months since you left me. I can’t put into words how much I miss you, every second of every hour of every day. I do think I am getting a little better each day at living with the grief I feel, but I know that I will always carry that grief with me, for the rest of my life. I am trying to figure out how to carry that grief and not feel sad all the time. You used to say that to grieve deeply is to have loved deeply. Well, I sure know how deeply we loved each other so I guess this is the price that I have to pay for that love. And I know that I wouldn’t take back any of the love that we shared. I do know that my running and training for your half marathons has been one of the main things that has kept me sane. I sure hope you can hear me when I talk to you while I’m running. This last Sunday, I ran my first real half marathon in your honor and it would have been #89 for you. It went down streets that we used to drive along all the time and it went just a few blocks away from our house. I felt you with me the entire race. But something was a little different this time. Normally, when I am training, I picture you along my route, standing at the side of the trail or along the golf course. When it is a particularly tough spot, I picture you encouraging me to get to you and it always helps motivate me. But during this race, I saw you running beside me. You stayed with me through all 13.1 miles. Thanks for being with me, I could feel your presence and your spirit and most of all, your love. Please continue to be with me, especially when I am running. I will keep running in your honor and I will keep loving you just as much. I love, adore and cherish you and I will forever.
All my love always,
Holly