Malibu International Half Marathon, Malibu, California, November 13, 2011

Race Number 44
 The Smutty, Trashy Romance Novel Version

It was a warm, fall morning on the beach at Malibu.  Brad (Pitt) looked at Angelina with disdain.  He knew the day had arrived that would certainly torment his soul for weeks. Mikie Marathoner was coming to Malibu to run in the Malibu International Half Marathon and Angelina had not been herself since she found out that Mikie was going to be running past their home, within ear shot and of course, within her vision to gaze on the man that had captured her heart so many years ago.  Brad was aware of the attraction and was insanely jealous of Mikie, for he knew he was a “7” compared to the perfect “10” that Angelina was infatuated with.  It attacked his heart and mind like an explosive leprosy.

Mikie was distracted too.  He had trained poorly for this race and felt he might create havoc for his body if he was not careful.  He was running at sea level, always a special benefit coming to the coast, yet he had visions of “Lips” waving to him, with forlorn eyes, knowing she COULD have had a life making a difference instead of “play acting” people who had made a difference.  Adding to Brad's torment was Brad's embarrassment that he had little workable knowledge, compared to Mikie, particularly of the Periodic Table, as he had watched Angie and Mikie chuckle one evening, over protein smoothies, comparing their shared knowledge of atomic numbers and the mistranslated myths of a stone-age desert nomad tribes.  Brad was no match when it came to intellect (I think he may have attended USC for a period of time, thus the defects in his intelligence)  and Mikie’s presence magnified that fact. It might be surmised that NO intelligent thought had really EVER crossed Brad’s mind in the last 15 years (very similar to Bono, who loves to get in front of the camera, with shaded glasses, and pontificate on his broad knowledge of absolutely nothing).  Therefore, Mikie would be the last person to introduce Brad to the seamy subculture of real THOUGHT!

Mikie started the race running on the beautiful cliffs lining the undeveloped coastline near Point Mugu. Mikie took in the beauty of the land and sea until mile 8 where he came to civilization and the live seafood market, Neptune’s Net, then crossing the famous surf spot of County Line where he had surfed as a young high school student as he ventured on a “Surfing Safari” up the LA County coast one long summer week in 1967. It was here that Mikie came to the first of the small rollers which would challenge him to the end. Only the thoughts of Angelina's supple face (and those lips, of course) kept him moving towards the finish line.  Would Angelina escape the grasp of Brad to meet Mikie at the finish line?  Mikie was motivated to quicken his step to find out.

The final six miles rolled along the coast past the north Malibu mansions.  It was here that Mikie’s heart yearned to stop and visit Angelina.  Yet, the final mile beckoned him and took him across the bluffs where he would pass the Malibu sign and drop downhill past the Trancas Market and into the Zuma Beach finish line.  As Mikie entered the last few hundred yards, he looked up and there she was…….. Angelina waiting for him…. tears running down her face as Mikie finished the race to Malibu!  

Mikie lunged towards Angelina as he crossed the finish line only to embrace a cardboard cutout of her from her last film, The Tourist.  He noticed that the tears were but condensation from the sea air, and certainly not the tears he imagined.  Brad had been successful in keeping Angie from one last interaction with Mikie.

Mikie slowly walked from the finish line to the water’s edge where he cooled his legs in the cold 59 degree surf.  He looked beyond the horizon and considered, "What if…..”   It was at that very moment that a rogue four foot wave hit Mikie square in the face and body and Mikie was drawn out to sea to never be heard from again (A fitting end to a trashy romance novel).

Publisher's note: We are in negotiations with Mikie to publish more of his smutty novel series after he runs races 45 and 46 in Allen, Texas on December 31^st and January 1^st.  (Yep, Mikie the Idiot is going to run two half marathons, back-to-back…… Therefore, you will have after-hangover reading to consider in the new year..... aren't you lucky). 

May your anticipation be like the warm air of a rising souffle' as you await the future tastings of the adventures of Mikie Marathoner.

Prayer List: Miles 1-3:  Cameron Munier had back surgery on his S1 disc and his L4/5 on Wednesday and is recovering.  Miles 4-6: Morgan Munier started a new job as the Facility Manager at Crown Pointe Academy in Westminster, CO and loves it.  Miles 7-9: Randy and Holly Phillips as they move to Austin, TX to lead a business venture.  Miles 10-13:  Mona Grant’s brother, Mike as he waits for a new heart as a transplant recipient.