Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon, Georgetown, Colorado, August 13, 2011

Race Number 43

As I started today’s race in Georgetown, Colorado at 8,500 feet above sea level, I imagined my trek to Idaho Springs (at 7,400 feet) being heralded by some critic of my blog as a "run of utmost urgency and importance in a mirror universe.” A mirror universe? Do they exist? Read on to find out…..

I started this race with more anticipation than normal. I felt as if I was really supposed to “RACE” someone or something today. It seemed so mystical.  I, not knowing about these areas of sophistication, merely accepted the feeling as having to do with the amount of oatmeal, banana and honey that I consumed two hours prior.

Yet, the first mile out, it became very evident to me that I WAS running and competing against someone….. the mystical character was a FEMALE, most likely many years my senior, as she SPEED-WALKED past me. Granted, I am still recovering from back surgery and have a sore right knee, but give me a break, I could not allow this “mirrored” universe to unfold in the form of a SPEED-WALKER passing Mikie Marathoner!!!

I generally react adversely to ultimatums, especially ones that challenge my manhood. It is said that goodwill and cheer will cause your heart to swell to three times its normal size (only to explode minutes later all over your respiratory system), and you need to "bless" that which may be challenging you.  But I would have nothing to do with this “goodwill, cheer and blessing” garbage by acknowledging this woman’s apparent abilities to WALK faster than I RUN. I was not going to be embarrassed by her as she tried moving further ahead of me while we were headed down the winding frontage road!

So, I started to run harder during miles 3-6. I sensed I was exerting myself beyond my preparation. What the heck was I doing? No answer to that question really satisfies any reasonable curiosity other than the fact that I am VERY competitive and (oh, yes, I have yet another weakness, not astonishingly remarked on by my colleagues, family and friends) …….I AM VERY STUBBORN.

Usually, these long races refresh, rather than tire me (ok, I am lying). Yet, refreshment was not on the menu as another complication appeared during mile 7.  “Chaffing,” per Webster’s Dictionary, is a transitive verb, meaning to irritate, to rub so as to wear away or to VEX. Well, I will not entertain you with the location of the vexing, but all I could do was recount my 4:00am preparation ritual and realized that I had forgotten to applying anti-vexing lotion to parts of my body that tend to get vexed during vexing competitions with vexing speed-walkers. I will not be vexed by this problem EVER again as I will place my anti-vexing cream in a place that will not allow me to forget to use it. Maybe duct taping it to a leg or arm prior to going to bed.

Sadly, by the tenth mile out, I was rapidly decomposing. I reflected on short phrases to get me through my pain, for example, “No one enjoys the mountain climb. It’s getting there that matters.” Too simple and stupid a thought, quite frankly, especially as I experienced much of this race in adventuresome agony.

I finished behind the speed walker. In a mirrored universe, I would have beaten her (meaning, of course, that I would have finished before her). So….. I really do want to believe there is a mirror universe that allows men of stature (as myself, of course) to succeed without ANY failure…… whatsoever! I think that so-called mirror universe is called Heaven. I am very sore in body, mind and spirit and wish I was there right now!

I guess I will have to settle for some medication (the prescribed type) a shower and a nap. Oh, thank heaven……… anyway!

Prayer List:  Miles 1-3: Cameron Munier, as he starts his career as a Deputy District Attorney in the Adams/Broomfield Counties of Colorado.  Miles 4-5: Janelle Bratten’s mom who is declining in health and is now in an assisted care facility. Miles 6-7: The Christianssen’s who own and operate Impact Sports Medicine and will be expanding. Wonderful, caring family!! Miles 8-10: Mandy James, JA 6th grader: Mandy was diagnosed with Scoliosis in 2007. She had corrective surgery a couple of weeks ago and is doing well. Miles 11-13: Connie Meadows, as she seeks new employment that will bless her!